


Another Funeral

by WinterTheWriter



Series: Building Happily Ever After [23]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Doctor Who, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bro-bonding, Crying, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, M/M, Past Love, Past Relationship(s), Steve crying, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, light humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 07:01:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10212116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterTheWriter/pseuds/WinterTheWriter
Summary: Peggy Carter passes in her sleep, surrounded by loved ones.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO. It is Spring Break and I /should/ be at work but I'm sick, which means I'm spending the day doing another Fic Dump (dear god that sounds gross but I'm leaving it in anyways) (oh no that sounds worse) to catch myself up because!! BECAUSE!! This series is, theoretically, reaching its end in mid-April. God, it's crazy. SO expect three fics tonight (including this), maybe more, and as always, follow me on twitter at @WinterTheWriter for updates/questions/just to say hi! 
> 
> This is an angsty one. You all knew it was coming. You were warned. I'm so sorry. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It happened the best way something like this can happen — expectedly, without fuss or too much pain. 

Peggy Carter passed in her sleep, one hand in Steve’s and the other in Sharon’s. 

They’d known this was coming for a while. She, thankfully, kept her mind to the very end, but her body had stopped cooperating with her, and soon it became painful to breathe and unthinkable to even sit up in bed. Using her niece as a willing messenger, she called out for her loved ones with one firm command: “No tears while I’m still alive.” And so, Koschei and Steve, Sharon and Tony, Fury and Coulson, everyone who had the pleasure of knowing her as /Peggy/ all took pauses from their lives to travel together to her hospice, sit besides her, and smile. 

Steve takes it harder than Koschei expects, but he supposes it isn’t too surprising — unlike Bucky’s, this death happened before his very eyes, and there’s no amount of preparation sufficient enough to dull the pain of watching that happen to someone you love. Koschei holds him in their shower the morning of the funeral, water turned on high, as huge, body-wracking, dry-heaving sobs shake and jerk Steve’s form, curled in Koschei’s lap like a child as he clings to him. There’s nothing Koschei can say, so he says nothing at all. 

He can tell Steve appreciates it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharon and Tony say their piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Note: the reason why Sharon doesn't have a full, written-out speech is because she DID have one in the movie, and I thought it was beautiful and don't want to change it. I also felt that copying it all down verbatim was a bit too close to plagiarism for comfort, so that's why it trails off. Enjoy!)

This time, Steve doesn’t plan the funeral. Unlike Bucky, Peggy Carter was never unloved a single day of her life, and she had a family to take on the burden. Sharon plans it, and while Steve helps carry the casket it’s incredibly unnerving to simply be an /attendant/. Koschei thinks it’s best, honestly — Steve isn’t in his right mind right now (nor should he be) and planning Bucky’s funeral had him shaky and distraught for weeks, and that just isn’t something he should put himself through again. He tells Steve this while they’re in the front row, waiting for the ceremony to start, and Steve nods his head in slow, reluctant agreement before resting it atop Koschei’s. 

The funeral is lavish and opulent but respectful and classy, elegance seeping everywhere from the ruby velvet aisle and tapestries to the shining, dark mahogany of the pews. A gorgeous black and white picture of Peggy, smiling at the camera in full uniform rests on a tripod stand adorned with a wreath of baby breaths, white roses, and blue tulips. Everything is perfect, perfect for /Peggy/, down to the last detail. It’s more reassuring than it ought to be, but Koschei never truly doubted Sharon. She’s a brilliant human and she knows her aunt. (He tells this to Steve too, and gets the same agreement, but the barest ghost of a smile tugs a corner of his lips and Koschei’s hearts melt a little. He hates it when Steve stops smiling.) 

Once everyone is settled (easily over a hundred people, Koschei figures), Sharon makes her way to the front of the room and stands at the podium, smiling closed-lipped and forced, but polite. The room quiets and Steve grabs onto Koschei’s hand and squeezes tightly.

“Margaret Carter was known to most as a founder of SHIELD. But I just knew her as Aunt Peggy…”

~

Tony, to everyone’s surprise, speaks first after Sharon. He went up to the podium without being asked to, stone-cold sober and more serious than Koschei’s ever seen him. He sucks his teeth and nods to himself as he grips the edges of the wood, looking out at the crowd before taking a deep breath. “Hi. Hello. Yeah, I know I don’t…,” he waves a hand, “do this sorta thing, ‘cause death is…,” grimace, “touchy. But. Peggy was something special. I didn’t know her as well as I should’ve. She was Dad’s Pretty But Scary Friend, and I guess I let the whole ‘dad’ connection get in the way. But she was…awesome. Best babysitter you could have, let me tell you. Granted, that only happened once because, ya know, she was a bit busy saving the world most of the time, but she let me watch scary movies and stay up late and probably hugged me more that night than my father’s /ever/ hugged me in my life, and wow, that was a super personal thing for me to say in front of all you relative strangers and Coulson. Cool. Fantastic. I’m just gonna ask everyone to forget I ever said that. Um.” Tony pauses and shifts his weight, moving from hunched over to straightened up as he combs his fingers through his hair.

“Anyways, Peggy Carter was one of those people who managed to find a perfect balance in everything she did. She was loving, but cold, when she needed to be. Gentle, but deadly, when she needed to be. Soft-spoken, but so very /not/ when she needed to be, and she needed to be /not/ far too many times in her life. No overlap, no…complications, just…her. Just her, being awesome and kickass and inspirational and…good. Purely good. And that’s about as well as I knew her. I saw her at functions and parties and that one time she babysat but I loved her. I loved her like a second mother, and in many, weird ways, I loved her like the father I never had as well. Because fuck gender roles, and also, she did more for me than he ever did, and I wish I could’ve told her how much that meant to me.” 

Everyone’s silent, Tony included, digesting. And then Tony mumbles something incoherent to himself and forces a too-wide smile, patting the podium decisively with both hands. “Alright, that’s all I got. Miss ya, Agent Carter. Don’t know what you ever saw in Rogers but rather him than Dad. Stark out.” Tony kisses two fingers before peace-signing the crowd and stepping down. Steve face-palms next to Koschei and both Koschei and Sam have to pretend they’re not giggling, just a little bit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this. I'd be sorry if I were sorry.

At least ten people gave speeches. Beautiful and heartfelt, every single one — even Coulson said a few words. A solid hour goes by and Steve is silently crying by Koschei’s side. No sobs or shakes like the night before, just big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. Every few minutes, Koschei reaches over with his free hand to thumb away the tracks, and each time Steve gives him this fiercely grateful look that twists his gut. Sam, one row behind them, puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezes, just once, and Steve gives him the very same look, and so does Koschei. 

“Steve?” Sharon asks from the podium, having stepped back up after the last speaker. Steve straightens in his seat and sniffs self-consciously. “Would you like to come up and say a few words?” And oh, Koschei could kiss her right now. The tone of her words is deliberately light and gentle — she’s sincerely asking, with no judgement or pressure in her eyes. She obviously remembers what happened at Bucky’s funeral just as clearly as Koschei does. 

Steve hesitates and Koschei squeezes his hand and whispers, “I can help you again if you’d like, love,” but after a few seconds of pondering, Steve slowly shakes his head and kisses Koschei’s cheek. 

“Just…be on standby,” he murmurs, getting to his feet. At Koschei’s reassuring smile and nod, he makes his way up to the podium and hugs Sharon close and tight for a moment before releasing her. She takes Steve’s spot besides Koschei and he rubs her back briefly while she wipes her eyes with a cloth. Steve looks out at everyone and he looks so nervous and lost and /young/ that Koschei nearly runs up then and there, but he knows Steve needs to do this. He knows Steve /can/ do this. 

“Peggy was the first and only woman I’ve ever loved,” Steve begins. “She took a chance on me before I looked like I could do anything with it, before talk of a serum or anything. Hell, I could barely do a push-up without having an asthma attack,” quiet laughter scatters through the crowd, “…but Peggy believed in me anyways. She did. And she was kind and brilliant and, well, /badass/. Decked a recruit easily a head taller than her for trying to get smart, knocked him right to the ground, all like it was nothing. And after my so-called death, she took all her grief and pain and used it to propel herself forward, founding SHIELD and securing her legacy in a time where women were still seen as submissive homemakers and nothing more. She’s my hero.” Steve chokes up and pauses, closing his eyes and taking deep, slow breaths before clearing his throat and continuing. Koschei is so unbelievably proud of him. “She’s my hero, and this speech isn’t my best because I’m making it up as I go along, but she’s my hero, and I don’t need eloquence to describe how much I love her and miss her because I am /so/ aware of it, every day, in all that I do. We both moved on and found new love but she will never, ever be overwritten or forgotten. She made me the man I am today and I am so proud to have known her.

“I just…wish I could’ve gotten my dance.” 

Steve looks at the casket lovingly and runs a hand over it before murmuring a “thank you” into the mic and stepping down. Sharon stands and hugs him again, and then Steve is back next to Koschei, holding his hand, and leaning heavily into his side. 

“You did wonderfully, darling,” Koschei whispers into his ear. “That was beautiful.” 

Steve gives him a watery smile and pecks his lips, whispering back, “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the gravesite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lightening up a bit, I promise. The worst is over.

The burial is relatively short and Koschei can’t help but feel relieved. Funerals are exhausting and taxing as is — it’s even worse when you have to watch your boyfriend be miserable on top of it. After the brief ceremony, the crowd slowly disperses, leaving only the Avengers behind. Sam and Koschei stand off to the side together, watching Natasha embrace Steve before leaving him to be alone with the headstone. She goes off to the rest of the group, sitting in a grassy, grave-less area nearby. Save Tony, they’re really only here for moral support, but they’re sticking by until the very end like the brilliant people they are. Steve kneels in front of the gravestone, hugging himself, and Koschei looks away to give him privacy. 

“How are you?” Sam asks suddenly, gently nudging him. Koschei blinks up at him and shrugs. 

“I really only spoke to her once, at Bucky’s funeral.” 

“Yeah, but…,” he nods to Steve, “this ain’t exactly fun to watch.”

Koschei huffs a little in agreement, nodding and crossing his arms as he leans against a tree. “Very true. I hate seeing him so miserable, but death is an inevitability. Mourning is…painful, but no less inevitable, and I’d rather see him miserable for a while than have him hold that all in, you know?” 

“He /would/, if we weren’t here.”

“I know. But we are here, yeah? And we’ll always be here.”

“Damn right.” Sam grins at him and Koschei smiles back a little before sobering.

“How about you? I can only imagine you brought this up because you’re in a similar boat.”

Sam nods once, lips curled down in that odd “you’re right” grimace thing humans do. “I mean, I’m a soldier. I’ve seen a lot of death. Been to a lot of funerals. And so has he, so…it’s less shocking for me to see, I guess. I just wish he didn’t have so damn much to mourn. No one deserves that.” 

Koschei hums a little in understanding and tips his head back against the bark with his eyes closed, letting the warm-edged March breeze whisper across his face. “I was a soldier, once upon a time,” he says lightly, staying in place. Sam scoffs good-naturedly and nudges him again.

“Yeah, I know.”

Opening his eyes and tilting his head to look at him, Koschei raises an eyebrow. “Steve told you?”

“Nah. Parade’s Rest is pretty universal, it seems. You do it a lot.” 

Koschei can’t help but chuckle lightly and make the very same odd face (it’s a good face, he must admit — very useful) in agreement. The conversation fades naturally and they stand together in a comfortable silence. Steve is sitting on the grass, now, which is marginally better than kneeling like a dying man, and Tony suddenly walks over and sits next to him. Sam and Koschei watch in astonishment as he pulls Steve into a bearhug, awkward angle be damned. 

“Shit,” Sam marveled, and Koschei huffs out a half-laugh in agreement. Taking out his phone, Sam snaps a picture before giving Koschei a toothy smile. “That’s like a unicorn. Gotta document it.”

“Send me a copy,” Koschei joked, not taking his eyes off the two. Tony lets Steve go and says something quietly to him before standing, stretching, awkwardly patting him twice on the head (there’s the Tony they know), and loping off back to the group. 

Steve looks over at Sam and Koschei and, teary-eyed and red-faced, gives them such a “WTF” face that they just can’t help laughing at.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Limo ride home.

“Know what we should do?” Sam asks in the limo, the entire team crammed together like a pack of sardines. 

“Get a bigger limo?” Clint answers sardonically. Bruce murmurs “amen.” 

“/Yes/,” Sam grants, “and, also, go out drinking and get shit-faced.”

“I’m down for that,” Steve says, and Koschei looks up at him in shock, as does almost everyone else. “What? Hard day. It takes a lot to get me drunk but…I could.” 

“Well, /I’m/ trying to say sober for as long as possible so Pepper leaves her girlfriend for me, so I’m gonna pass.” 

“For the last time,” Bruce sighs, “that is /not/ what I meant—,”

“Too late. It’s happening. Fate sealed.” 

“I could…get shit-faced,” Koschei shrugs. Steve beams happily at him and Koschei beams back. 

“Ugh. I’ll go too, only because I need to get shit-faced to deal with you two puppies,” Nat cuts in, but there’s no bite in her tone and she’s fighting a smile. 

“Pass,” Clint says. “Tired. Sleepy time for Hawkeye.”

“Ditto,” Bruce adds. 

“So,” Sam says expectantly, “me, Nat, Steve, and Koschei. Dive-bar tonight after a shower?”

They all agree unanimously, and the ride continues in silence. Koschei supposes, as far as the end of funerals go, this was a pretty good one.

Peggy would be proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (YES, of course I am writing an update for the four of them getting shit-faced. How could I ever ignore that?)


End file.
